An Old Sweet Song...

It's that time again.

There is a song by the Mills Brothers called You Always Hurt The One You Love. I love that song.

You always break the kindest heart with a hasty word you can't recall.
So if I broke your heart last night it's because I love you most of all.

I honestly think that forming serious relationships with people, whether they be friendships or acquaintances or romantic interests, is one of the most sure fire ways to fuck yourself up. I mean, your likely to screw the acquaintances, mainly because you don't know them well enough to give a shit what they really think. And then, with the friendships, say you don't see each other for a long while, time passes, things happen, and then they have all of a sudden been demoted to the title of "acquaintance". Shit! How did that happen?! I don't know, do you? And then the romantic interests; part time lovers, back door men, sweethearts, boyfriends, husbands, wives, girlfriends, friends with benefits, etc. Well, the odds are usually that you are not going to be satisfied with your first pick. Why not? Well, because we always think the grass is always greener on the other side. Something better is out there. Maybe. By the time we know what we want we are too damn old to be getting picky, and have to take what we can get. But I digress.

The reason I'm writing this, is because I think it's a little bit funny how these things seem to run like clockwork. Remember this crap is leaking from a 20-year-old. We make friends, we lose them. We don't necessarily run them off, but life takes its toll and people fall out of touch. That's just the way it goes. Fact. You don't still shoot the shit with all your childhood friends. Some of them have been knocked up, killed, married, and missing. Do you care? Well, yeah, for a minute.

"Oh Katie's knocked up? I'm not surprised. Boy? Girl? Who with?"

You don't give a shit. It's just an alternative to talking about the weather. At least where I come from.

But the curious thing is the seeming blindness to this whole cycle. As Stewie would say.....

"So...ugh...hows that novel comin'? Got an interesting protagonist? A little romance? Deceit? Friends become enemies? Enemies become friends?"

It's like a cheap book you pick up at the grocery store. (I never understood why people look their literature *cough* at the Piggly Wiggly)

Once again, getting off topic. Not that there is a real topic here anyway. It's more or less a cluttered rant.

Anyway, I hate myself for being, or feeling, smart enough to recognize these recurring patterns in my social circles. Count the friends, count the patterns. Count the lovers, count the patterns. Don't count the acquaintances, after all, they are the demotions to friends, right?

So what I'm getting at, is, why can't we sort of circumvent all that bullshit and just come clean with people from the beginning? The problem with the whole process is that people are so optimistic as to think that everything is always going to be sunshine and laughter. I'm not trying to be George Carlin depressing. I feel like this is some crap he would write. I just mean, would it not be better to be realistic?

"Hey, we were good friends this past year. I really enjoyed the time we spent together. I'm going to Ireland, I'll send you a post card."

Easy. Well.... easy enough without being a prick about it. You would not say uh...

"So, I'm going out of the country for a while. Don't hold your breath."

I guess you could. But you would only do that to the acquaintances you ran into at the bank or something. Just to let them know not to bother calling.

My problem is this. I keep going in circles. I don't think people are bad. At least, I don't think people are as realistically depressing as me, but the fact is that it can't always be the mural of peace and tranquility. If life were a painting, I would be sitting in a hot tub right now knocking back a martini listening to Glenn Miller in Vegas. But no, instead I'm sitting on a 25 year old mattress in South Carolina, looking at a pile of laundry that has yet to be done. That's life.

I beg you. Whoever you are. Don't make the mistakes I make. Don't be so nice. Don't be so optimistic. It hurts to lose your friends. It hurts to lose your lovers. People come and go. People get promoted and demoted and forgotten and lost. It's not hard to find good people, you just have to know where to look, and be hard headed enough to not let them get away from you. If they do, because they sometimes do, don't let it get you down. For me, all it took was finding a few good friends, whether they be lost or leaving, to realize that there are people out there who make for good conversation.

The mistake is thinking that they are eternal. People are not fixtures in your life. Friends don't make for good accessories. Lovers even are by no means easy to keep.

I'm going to go get in my tub and pretend it's a jacuzzi. :)